HRM Parent Blog

This article by Dr. Kelly Pryde from DreamKids just arrived in my inbox and I wanted to share it with you all right away. I *so* needed to read this at the moment. I hope it inspires you as well. *shutting off the computer now and going in the backyard to join my son*

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know I often talk back, roll my eyes and tune you out, but here’s the thing: I really, really do need you. Sometimes I think you forget that I’m just a kid and that I still have many special needs. So if I was able to, here are 12 things I would tell you I need the most…

1. Spend time with me and connect with me. It helps me know that I matter. (Not to mention that you are the most important person in my life and I really want to be with you.)

2. Please slow down and take your time with me. I cannot do things at your skill level or on your schedule.

3. Celebrate all of my little successes and cheer me on. It inspires me.

4. Honor my need for sleep. My body and my brain depend on it for learning and growing.

5. Protect my energy. Please keep negative TV, radio, conversations, and people as well as unnecessary stress away from me.

6. Hug me often. It helps me feel loved and special and it’s good for my developing brain.

7. Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first time. My brain doesn’t learn as quickly as yours and I sometimes forget.

8. Please don’t raise your voice—I’m not stupid or deaf. I am a child who is still learning and making lots of mistakes. Approach me gently with an open heart.

9. Challenge me but do not push me too hard to progress or achieve. Let me have fun and take pleasure in where I am today.

10. Respect me by speaking to me, not about me to others like I’m not there.

11. Set clear expectations and limits for my behavior. It helps me feel safe.

12. Be the person you want me to be. You are my biggest hero and I want to learn from you how to be in this world.

Idea for Action
Choose 1 or 2 ideas from this list that resonated most with you and commit to putting them into action over the next few weeks. Our children are the most precious gifts we have—let’s be sure to notice and honor what they need most. 
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Copyright 2009 DreamKids. All rights reserved.

Dr. Kelly Pryde is the founder of DreamKids – a company dedicated to celebrating and developing potential in children and families. A speaker, author and mother of two, Kelly holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and offers inspiring and practical ideas for today’s parents. Join the growing DK family by subscribing to DreamKids’ free e-newsletter at: http://www.dreamkids.ca/newsletter.php.

by Corinne McDermott, Have Baby Will Travel

In my ‘20s I traveled for 6 weeks through Europe with one backpack that I carried myself. For our week-long honeymoon, my husband and I took one large suitcase between us. Just over 2 years later, my husband, 11-month-old daughter, and I had an overflowing luggage cart that held 2 large suitcases (overweight), 2 stuffed-to-the-brim carry-ons, and a car seat. In hindsight, we should have added our playpen to the pile, since the hotel-issued crib for that trip was pretty wobbly.

(I admit the talk of beaches in this article by Corinne McDermott has made me rather depressed as I look outside at the cold winter day, but nevertheless I hope you find it useful and inspiring!)

The weather’s bad and the news is gloomy; time to escape with the family for a week and decompress on a beach – right? Unfortunately, the economy is just as nasty as the weather and the news, and many are opting for “staycations” or canceling their travel plans altogether. For me, neither are appealing options… If I stayed close to home I’d never relax or let go of the chores that need tending to. If I cancelled our trip, I’d be even more miserable.

Ask anyone who knows me and they would tell you that I am not a domestic person! I get grumpy about cleaning, tend to leave piles of things around the house, put off folding the laundry, and have never particularly enjoyed cooking. Chances are that you relate to some of these sentiments, too. But even though a June Cleaver or Martha Stewart I am not, I do know the importance of and work towards creating a home that is what I call “a soft place to fall.”

Our article section will now be included in the blog. To find past articles, click the 'tags' link above and browse through the options. Here's out latest article from Have Baby Will Travel:

Whenever I talk about traveling with babies (which is a lot), for the most part I come across like-minded parents who have concerns but love the idea of travel with their young family. Occasionally, however, I'm met with a look of horror, or – at the very least – disbelief. The concept of a family vacation does not appeal to them, often for the same reasons. Because I hear and refute these 'reasons' now and again, I’ve decided to do it in print once and for all…

“They won’t remember it…”
I’ve never fully understood this reason, since your baby won’t remember anything before the age of two. But just because they won’t remember, doesn’t mean you don’t cuddle and read to and sing to your baby… Plus, who cares if they won’t remember? You’ll never forget that time together as a family, and new place, faces and foods are good for everyone – including baby.

“They’d be bored/they’d rather be with Grandma…”
This may be true with older kids if you haven’t given them a say in the itinerary, but for the most part, kids want to be with their parents. I know the time will come soon enough when my daughter won’t be able to stand me, so we’re saving the romantic getaways for later. Plus, with our busy life, I’m lucky to see my daughter 3hrs a day, and weekends are always filled with chores and errands. I want to be with her when I’m not working – and fully enjoy this quality family time.

“It’s not really a vacation…”
True – it’s a different type of holiday. You’re up early and have routines to maintain, diapers to change and meals to think about. But the thing is , you have to do all that stuff anyway, you might as well be somewhere nice! Plus, sticking to a routine means you all know what to expect, gives you a basis to plan a few outings, AND, not having household chores means you actually CAN sleep when the baby does.

“It’s not safe…”
If you’re traveling with kids, you’re likely not going to plan a getaway to a war zone. Even if you weren’t taking them with you, I’d hope that as a parent you’d choose a safe destination as well. Even the most accomplished worrywart (me) can do a bit of research to figure out hospitals, health insurance, vaccinations, and preventative measures. If you take the same health and safety precautions that you would at home, there is no risk in traveling with infants and toddlers.

“If they act up, we’ll bother people…”
Kids act up. If you’re so afraid of annoying someone, how do you ever leave the house? You’ve spent good money, you’ve come prepared, and in spite of all your best efforts, if your crying/fussing/whining child bothers someone, there’s really nothing you can do. Just as there’s nothing you can do if a loud/smelly/drunk/offensive person is bothering you. In the long run, the journey is the shortest bit of the big picture, and fortunately the most quickly forgotten.

So please, if you love the idea of getting away with your young family, don’t let the naysayers dissuade you. A new parent is under a lot of pressure to begin with, and something like travel gives you the chance to escape together. And repeated travel at a young age creates a great young traveler. At not-quite-three, our daughter knows getting on a plane means going somewhere fun… but most of all means Mummy and Daddy get to stay with her for a whole week, and I love that she loves that the most.
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Corinne McDermott is the founder of Have Baby Will Travel – your online guide to traveling with babies and toddlers. For more information please visit www.havebabywilltravel.com or send a message to info@havebabywilltravel.com.