HRM Parent Blog

Ask anyone who knows me and they would tell you that I am not a domestic person! I get grumpy about cleaning, tend to leave piles of things around the house, put off folding the laundry, and have never particularly enjoyed cooking. Chances are that you relate to some of these sentiments, too. But even though a June Cleaver or Martha Stewart I am not, I do know the importance of and work towards creating a home that is what I call “a soft place to fall.”

Creating a home that is a soft place to fall has little to do with money, furniture or upgrades and everything to do with the energy and emotion you invest in it. It’s about creating an energy that is warm, loving, peaceful and content. It’s about creating a space that is authentic and real, reflecting who you are as a family and what you value together. And it’s about creating a sense of belonging so that no matter what happens in the outside world, home is the place where you know you will always be accepted and cherished unconditionally.

You cannot buy this kind of home—you can only create it with the investment of your time, intention and loving energy.

While there are always things I’d like to change and do around our home, many of these to-do’s are in the long-range forecast—they’re nice-to-haves that we’ll get to in time. There are, however, four must-have practices that I try to ensure are on the daily or at least regular agenda—practices that I feel contribute greatly to the creation of a home that is a soft place to fall for my family…

1. Make it beautiful (a.k.a. meaningful).

Beautiful doesn’t mean expensive or trendy—it means anything that has meaning and significance for you and your family. I’ve been in many homes that are beautiful in the sense that they are “picture-perfect,” like something out of a magazine; but they say nothing about the family that lives there—who they are or what their interests are. Make your home a beautiful reflection of who you are, not who you think you should be. This is one of the most important practices you can do in your home to create a sense of contentment and well-being.

Equally important is to allow your children to create spaces that are unique reflections of who they are. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so be flexible and willing to let them experiment with what is meaningful for them in their space.

2. Keep it simple.

There’s no denying that most of us have too much clutter in our lives—cluttered closets, cluttered drawers, cluttered calendars, cluttered minds. Unfortunately, out of all this clutter comes chaos and uncertainty—ingredients that do not make for a soft place to fall. We can all do better at cleaning up the clutter in our lives by purging extraneous items and creating order with the basics we need; by slowing down and simplifying our schedules; and by ridding our thoughts of meaningless details so we can more easily focus on the things that really matter. When we practice this kind of simplicity in our homes and our lives, we create comfort and stability as well as a healthy example for our children to follow.

3. Eliminate negative energy sources.

In addition to clutter, there are several other sources of negative energy that can rob a home of its warm, nurturing qualities. Here are some of the key ones to attend to:

• Negative TV and media – images and descriptions of negative events going on in the world breed an energy of fear and insecurity in your home. Be mindful of when and how much you and your family are exposed to this kind of material.
  

• TVs and computers in the bedroom have been associated with depression, poor sleep patterns, and relationship problems as well as lower academic achievement in children. And we are only beginning to learn about the harmful effects of electromagnetic waves on our physical and mental health. For these reasons, try to avoid electronics in the bedroom altogether.
  

• Harmful language such as hurtful jokes, gossip and criticism wreaks negative energy, or “bad mojo” as I call it. Poet Maya Angelou once commented that words are like little energy pellets that stick to walls, curtains, furniture and clothing. Teach your children about the effects of harmful language and do not allow negative words to stick around your home.
  

4. Practice rituals and traditions.

Family rituals are such a powerful way to create security, contentment and a sense of belonging in your home. From mealtimes and bedtimes to good-byes and holidays, there are many easy, inexpensive ways to start rituals and traditions that are fun and meaningful for your family. Group hugs, bedtime snuggles, pajama days, Sunday brunch, movie night—these are just a few simple rituals you can do to elevate the energy in your home.

For a variety of reasons, we tend to waste a lot of our time and energy on the things that we don’t like and wish we could change about our homes—a new sofa, a fresh coat of paint, better quality cupboards, newer flooring. Spend more time and energy on the things you do love about your home—not to mention the fact that you have one during these uncertain times. When you look on your home with love and thanks, you create the kind of haven your family truly needs.

Idea for Action

Take an inventory of your home and decide where you can invest some more loving energy. What does your family love and find meaningful in your home? Do you have clutter or other sources of negative energy that can be cleared up? (Be honest! Ignoring it won’t make it go away!) Can you simplify your schedule? Is there a family ritual you’d like to begin? Focusing on any of these areas will add a whole new level of love and warmth to your home =)

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Dr. Kelly Pryde is the founder of DreamKids – a company dedicated to celebrating and developing potential in children and families. A speaker, author and mother of two, Kelly holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and offers inspiring and practical ideas for today’s parents. Join the growing DK family by subscribing to DreamKids’ free e-newsletter at: http://www.dreamkids.ca/newsletter.php.

Copyright 2009 DreamKids. All rights reserved.